Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother

As promised in my earlier post, here's the review. If you're on Goodreads, apologies if much of this is familiar.

In short, I liked the book. It was a quick, compelling read, but not one that you can't miss. Three and a half to four out of five stars. Most of the most controversial material was printed in the excerpts so the rest of the story is filling in the blanks about her life/family. I found myself both admiring and being put off by the author. She's so convinced that her fairly inflexible way of parenting is right, that it gets exhausting at times and you wonder how her husband puts up with it all. She says that Chinese mothering (and she notes that there are many people who are not ethnically Chinese that would qualify as Chinese mothers because of parenting style) requires being willing to have the people you love most hate you at times. She then details numerous instances of yelling matches/power struggles with her daughters to get them to practice their instruments and never taking breaks, even on vacations (which entails arranging for practice space in hotels across the world). Yet at the same time I wonder if I would devote that much time and energy to personally ensuring that my children succeed. For this reason the book is valuable fodder for thought. I'm talking sitting and practicing piano/violin with her daughters for hours every day (she's also a Yale Law professor and author who travels and lectures speaks, but she leaves reams of detailed practice instructions), elaborate class projects, doing homework, etc. The world they live in is very much the East Coast moneyed intellectual elite sphere where they are comparatively middle class, yet she still tells of them renting out NYC's St. Regis hotel ballroom for a catered party after her daughter's debut at Carnegie Hall, or shelling out untold amounts of money for top notch music teachers and private lessons.

The story ends with her being humbled when her younger daughter revolts and refuses to play the violin to the degree her mom wants. It made me sigh with relief to see her have to relax a bit, but it seems that her methods bore fruit. Her daughters are smart, well-adjusted, nice teens who have bright futures. In the midst of the clamor over Western vs. Eastern parenting styles, I agree with her thesis that parents have to be involved in helping their child learn and develop a work ethic since children will not naturally be so disciplined. But I have to believe that amidst the dedication required to be an intentional, mindful parent there's a middle ground with more room for the spontenaity of just being a child. As always, moderation in all things. But that doesn't sell as many books.

What are your thoughts, whether you've read part of all of the book or just read about the author.