"Don't Be So Focused on What You Think You Want That You Can't Be Something Else."

A snapshot from our morning: Ben doing artwork and sidekick Lucy wanting in on the action. This picture makes me smile because it reminds me that it's the simple things that fashion a life and bring me joy. Lucy with her funny smile, Ben and his passion for creating (whether pictures or objects with his Legos), how they tease each other yet still enjoy each other's company, cozying up and reading books, going to storytime at the library, getting groceries at Aldi and our tradition of cracking open a box of animal crackers as we cruise the aisles, playing Uno Attack with Ben, Lucy's excitement to see Ben's bus pull up when we pick him up from kindergarten, and the list goes on. I was reminded of a valuable lesson yesterday during my MWP interview with Sherry Young. She spoke of feeling lonely and overwhelmed when she moved across the country with four active children under the age of eight and a husband with a very demanding work schedule. I asked what advice she would give women in the trenches of young motherhood and her words really resonated: To gear down and fill each day with joy, realizing that while it sometimes seems interminable, this phase won't last forever. Amidst "the cookie crumbs and diapers," she and her kids "baked alot of cookies, listened to stories, and played lots of music." From someone who (according to my mother), is happiest when I'm so busy I'm "running around like my hair's on fire," and didn't realize that I was a chronic Type-A personality until my mother-in-law kindly and humorously pointed it out early in my marriage, this was much needed wisdom. In the desire to control our lives, sometimes by relinquishing a modicum of control we can discover unknown interests and talents and ultimately find the security, fulfillment, and opportunities that we crave.

A Little R&R

The first weekend in March found me in South Carolina on a girls' weekend with my good friends from our time in Boston. We're spread all over the country now, but thanks to the generosity of one friend's parents, we were able to meet up at Kiawah Island, SC and stay at one of their timeshare homes. Kiawah is a lovely golf resort community about an hour north of Charleston, and we had a great time reconnecting, relaxing, taking walks, and getting a break from this seemingly never-ending winter. Some highlights:

Meandering through the streets of Charleston to take in the genteel Southern ambience. I loved walking along the streets overlooking the harbor and Ft. Sumter.

(We're not all in this picture)

Admiring the gorgeous architecture and trying to eavesdrop on the history lessons given by the tour guides in the carriages.

Cruising around in our sweet ride- thanks Cami for being the chauffeur and for picking us all up at the airport after midnight! After riding in this I'm sold on a minivan. No joke. Documenting the local wildlife. Deciding if the croc is just out for a stroll or late for his tee time. Cozying up together in the family room where we spent 90% of our time chatting, reading, lounging, eating, warming our buns and toes by the fireplace, and chatting some more.

(L to R: Jenn, Lizzie, Emily, Cami, me, and Kristina - I heart these ladies!)

Discovering the boardwalk from the beach to the bike path. My dream...

Pedaling along the beach in a very stiff headwind, collecting shells and sand dollars to take home as souvenirs for kiddos (18 among the 6 of us!). I found a beautiful shell, only to bring it home and discover it reeked horribly - the former inhabitant must have died inside.

Admiring the putting green behind the clubhouse of the Ocean Course (home of the 2012 PGA Championship, for any of you out there who obsessively follow golf or are married to someone who does).

Posing for a shot of the clubhouse in honor of Andy. Funny how I don't golf, but get excited about courses now. Maybe it's just the gorgeous settings and fabulously designed clubhouses. This one had the most amazing cobalt blue leather armchairs in the lobby.

Driving up to our home for the weekend at 1:30 a.m.

Chillin' in here some more, staying up until 3 or 4 a.m. two of the nights.

Preparing meals in here and wishing this were my real kitchen. We found fresh brownies waiting for us upon arrival.

Spending afternoons leisurely toodling around on beach bikes

Taking a little rest on the joggling board.

Getting lost in thought as I stared at the view from the deck.

Eating yummy meals and midnight snacks of brownies and Blue Bell Ice Cream. We had dinner at the clubhouse one night, overlooking the beach and watching the sun set. Great atmosphere, but subpar food and very slow service. Maybe it was because we didn't order any alcohol. Thankfully we each got a free dessert after having to wait an hour for our food. But we went to an amazing pizza place the next day that more than compensated.

Cami summed up the trip perfectly:

"Kiawah was gorgeous. Charleston was charming. I can't wait to see you all again. Maybe next time we'll let the boys come."

Beauty and the Beast

While perusing O Magazine's Spring Fashion Handbook this morning at the gym, I spied this gorgeous dress, along with a number of fabulous tailored shirtdresses that made me want to channel my inner 50s housewife. Pardon me while I slip into my coziest pair of heels, tie on my half apron, freshen up my lipstick, and find my feather duster.

A few pages later there was an ad for these horrendous MBT exercise shoes as an accompaniment to your little black dress or other evening wear. I just can't get behind these sartorial travesties, no matter how well they supposedly tone your tush. Sorry, the black leather doesn't make them any more attractive.

Have any of you tried this kind of shoe? Do they really work?

Next Up...

Just confirmed that Sherry Young, mother of QB Steve Young, will be my next interviewee for the Mormon Women Project. She sounds like an amazing lady and I can't wait to talk with her! She's raised a family of successful children and has also pursued her own interests, currently working as a columnist for The Deseret News. I hope to focus our interview on the idea of "seasons of life" and how she's balanced her priorities over the years.

Do you have any questions for her?

Weekend Warriors

The weather was gorgeous this week so we've been out and about in our new chariot. On Saturday afternoon Lucy and I took a walk to deliver packages and pick up a few groceries in our double jogging stroller. It is so liberating to be able to get out with both kids, even though in this case Ben and Andy were out golfing so it was just us girls. I commented to Andy how I felt like I was in Boston again: back in my element, cruising around with nothing but my two feet to get me where I want to go.

There's a story behind our purchase of the BOB stroller: I hadn't bought a double stroller up to this point because I figured Ben is too big for most and I couldn't find one I liked that had the right combination of function, style, and compactness in the right price range. Meanwhile, I've been stir crazy since having Lucy since I could never go on walks with both kids so I'd have to do it sporadically in the afternoons if Lucy woke up early from a nap and before Ben got home from kindergarten.

During a long walk in South Carolina with one of my girlfriends, I came to the realization that I just needed to bite the bullet and get a double stroller as an investment in my sanity. So the day after I got home from my trip I started looking on Craigslist and found a few strollers I was interested in. The BOBs come highly recommended, but are a little pricey, so I called one of the two local stores that carry them just to see if we could give one a test drive and see if Ben would fit. As luck would have it, they were having a moving sale and their one remaining double stroller was on sale for 40% off, so I told him to hold it for us. We picked Ben up off the bus and were at the store an hour later. It just fits in our trunk and I love it. The bright orange fabric makes me happy.

On Friday night we had a date night swap and Ben got to play "dress ups" with his good friend Julia and her little sister Audrey. The girls were great sports since there is not a princess dress or girly acoutrement to be found in our costume box. The most sought-after accessory of the night: The light saber.

On Saturday afternoon I volunteered to help set up and serve a luncheon for 100 LDS missionaries in our area. We spent an hour arranging the food and pouring water before the troops arrived.

The calm before the storm...

The meal consisted of the typical Mormon fare: Ham, cheesy potatoes, green bean casserole, rolls, and salad.

Oh, and don't forget the hundreds of pieces of cake for dessert. Talk about the paradox of choice.
I took home one of those huge gooey dark chocolate pieces on the second tier of the rolling cart. Yum.

You'd think this many young men and women would eat like an army, but there was a mindboggling amount of food left. The dessert tables didn't even look like they'd been touched and I actually heard more than one elder say he didn't want seconds or any cake because he was on a diet. Come again?

The best part of it all was getting to hang out with these lovely ladies.

To cap off the weekend, Andy and I went on a dinner date with some of our good friends. A great night full of tasty food (a crostini, apple, honey, and pecorino cheese appetizer and The Chocolate Cafe for dessert) and interesting conversation. After three months of trying to schedule a night out together, we finally made it work. Definitely worth the wait.

March Madness

If you're even somewhat of a regular reader, you know I've been a slouch in the blogging category lately. But a new laptop with a built-in data card reader will hopefully help with the photo uploading, which always seems to be my hangup to posting.

We've had an eventful month with the latest being St. Patrick's Day, which I love to celebrate by serving green pancakes and milk for breakfast. Andy's parents are on a major smoothie kick lately and a I thought I'd give spinach smoothies a go in honor of the holiday. Visions of vibrant green bliss oozing with nutrition ended up looking more like sludge, but still tasted good.
Lucy's been under the weather this week, as you can tell by how she looks like death warmed over. Between the time change, teething, fever, a stomach bug, and 18 month old dramatics, it's been a tough go for this gal. The upside of her not letting me be less than one foot from her without breaking down is that she's very snuggly. Not typical Lucy - the girl who has no interest in sitting anywhere for more than 12.5 seconds.

Ben's shamrock pancake and carefully chosen pajamas.

I'm planning on posting pictures of my girls' weekend to SC soon. Thankfully spring has found us here in Ohio so we've been outside a ton lately. Next week is spring break for Ben so let the adventuring begin!

Squeaky Clean

I just got my Groupon and bought three hours worth of house cleaning services. Cleaning is actually very therapeutic for me in many ways, but I can never seem to get much past the surfaces. This is my first splurge on hired help and I'm already imagining the shining floors, sparkling bathrooms, spotless baseboards, and lemon-fresh scent. With two kids, we'll see how long it stays that way.

Have you ever used a professional housecleaner before? What did you think? What product or service would you be willing to splurge on?

Royally Thrilled

Fabulous news: The King's Speech, winner of this year's Academy Awards for Best Actor (Colin Firth - you know, the real Mr. Darcy), Best Picture, and Best Director is coming out with a PG-13 version that edits a scene where his unconventional Australian speech therapist encourages the stuttering king to let out a string of profanities in the hopes of loosening his tongue.

This is one movie I've been dying to see and it would be grand if they released the newer version in theaters so we could have the true moviegoing experience. If not, I'll happily settle for a cozy night on the couch.

Here's to the dream that Hollywood is seeing that there are commercial prospects for smart, well-made, movies without the more unsavory elements.

Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother

As promised in my earlier post, here's the review. If you're on Goodreads, apologies if much of this is familiar.

In short, I liked the book. It was a quick, compelling read, but not one that you can't miss. Three and a half to four out of five stars. Most of the most controversial material was printed in the excerpts so the rest of the story is filling in the blanks about her life/family. I found myself both admiring and being put off by the author. She's so convinced that her fairly inflexible way of parenting is right, that it gets exhausting at times and you wonder how her husband puts up with it all. She says that Chinese mothering (and she notes that there are many people who are not ethnically Chinese that would qualify as Chinese mothers because of parenting style) requires being willing to have the people you love most hate you at times. She then details numerous instances of yelling matches/power struggles with her daughters to get them to practice their instruments and never taking breaks, even on vacations (which entails arranging for practice space in hotels across the world). Yet at the same time I wonder if I would devote that much time and energy to personally ensuring that my children succeed. For this reason the book is valuable fodder for thought. I'm talking sitting and practicing piano/violin with her daughters for hours every day (she's also a Yale Law professor and author who travels and lectures speaks, but she leaves reams of detailed practice instructions), elaborate class projects, doing homework, etc. The world they live in is very much the East Coast moneyed intellectual elite sphere where they are comparatively middle class, yet she still tells of them renting out NYC's St. Regis hotel ballroom for a catered party after her daughter's debut at Carnegie Hall, or shelling out untold amounts of money for top notch music teachers and private lessons.

The story ends with her being humbled when her younger daughter revolts and refuses to play the violin to the degree her mom wants. It made me sigh with relief to see her have to relax a bit, but it seems that her methods bore fruit. Her daughters are smart, well-adjusted, nice teens who have bright futures. In the midst of the clamor over Western vs. Eastern parenting styles, I agree with her thesis that parents have to be involved in helping their child learn and develop a work ethic since children will not naturally be so disciplined. But I have to believe that amidst the dedication required to be an intentional, mindful parent there's a middle ground with more room for the spontenaity of just being a child. As always, moderation in all things. But that doesn't sell as many books.

What are your thoughts, whether you've read part of all of the book or just read about the author.