Sticky Fingers

Does this look like the face of a hardened criminal? Yesterday Ben decided to start (and hopefully end) his life of crime so that these are not practice poses for future mug shots.

We participated in a tour of a local candy company yesterday morning and, like any savvy retailer, the tour began and ended in their store. This company specializes in chocolate, so the store was a dreamland for anyone with a sweet tooth, chock full of confections in every shape and size. Even a 35-pound chocolate rabbit ready to be bought as an Easter gift. Being the mean mom that I am, and knowing that we'd get a sample at the end of the tour, I gently refused Ben's requests to buy any of the chocolates. Well, after we finished, I had to step out for a minute and fill a bottle for Lucy. Apparently my lack of supervision provided the perfect opportunity for Ben to help himself to a little goodie.

Flash forward four hours: At 3:30 p.m. Ben gets home from school and asks for a snack. He also casually mentioned that he had a golf-ball chocolate in the car on the way home from the candy factory. Knowing that we didn't buy any, I calmly asked him to show me the wrapper, which he produced from its hiding place in one of the cupholders in his booster seat. I'm sure he regretted telling me about it at this point because I told he we would be going back to the candy store for him to apologize and pay for his stolen item. One of the things Ben struggles with is correction or redirection. He started melting down, saying it was the worst day ever and trying every stalling technique in the book to avoid a return trip. He said he was afraid, which I can understand, but I tried to explain that even though he'd made a bad choice, they'd be happy that he was honest and told the truth (under duress).

So we loaded up in the car and once we arrived, I got Lucy out and had to make a special trip to go back and get Ben since he refused to leave the car. Once inside, I had him show me the candy he took and bring it up to the cashier where I explained the situation and he said he was sorry. She was very nice about it and said he was a good boy. I asked him afterward if he felt better after he returned it and his reply was no. My concern: He never seemed to show much remorse that he stole something or acknowledge that it was wrong. He was more upset that he got caught and that he had to be corrected and return it. He didn't want to tell Andy what happened, either, I think for fear of getting in trouble. Is this normal four-year-0ld behavior or do I need to start watching for other signs of pathological behavior? :)

Have you had any dabbles into the criminal underworld via yourself or your children? How did they/you deal with this? I'll fess up: I have a major lead foot and was pulled over in high school four times for speeding but never got a ticket.

P.S. The above pictures are the proofs for Ben's school pictures. He has an adorable smile, but when asked to do a posed smile it comes off as cheesy and forced. We laugh about this because Andy's older brother also says he lacks a "heartwarming smile" for photographs. Ben said the photographer told him to "show him his teeth."