Found...

The perfect costume for the trend-setting baby: Lady Gaga. I'd buy it for Lucy in a heartbeat if it weren't for two things:

1. She's totally bald and people already think she's a boy, so the costume might be a little too androgynous. We need somthing that screams, "I'm an adorable littl girl, dang it!!!" Every time we go out in public, not matter how feminine her outfit, people unfailingly mistake her for a boy. Case in point: Today we were at Sam's Club nabbing the free kids' cookies at the bakery. Lucy was dressed in her cute new tuquoise long-sleeved onesie and coordinating dark purple corduroy overalls, both festooned with flowers. She started making eyes at the guy in the cart next to us and he said, "Hey, buddy." I am not exaggerating. Somehow people (mostly men) cannot get past the hot pink clothes to make the correct gender connection. A true mystery of the universe.

With that said, I'm now having to reconsider my original Halloween plan. Since when it comes to Halloween (and all holidays in general) I am the tragic combination of lazy, uncreative, and unable to sew/craft, I was going to dress Lucy in Ben's old zip-up leopard costume. Simplicity is my mantra and recycling is always virtuous, right? Now that I think of it, that won't help our cause. Anyone have a girly 18-month getup they wouldn't mind lending out? Last year a friend let us borrow a baby mermaid costume which was basically like a pint-sized teal sleeping bag with strategically placed purple shells. It couldn't have been easier. Ben wants to be a ghost this year, so I'm breathing a sigh of relief because it means all we have to do is go to a thrift store and buy an old sheet. The downside of the whole ghosty fixation is that it stems from Andy's mom telling Ben ghost stories while he was in Utah and now he's terrified of being anywhere by himself. A few days ago he wanted me to stand outside the door while he went to the bathroom.

2. This look may be a little too edgy for Ohio. Fashion trends end up hitting the Midwest a little later than other places. I can just see us trick-or-treating and being met with a plethora of blank stares and quizzical looks upon seeingLucy in full Gaga glory. The upside of the costume: At least it's not made of meat.

And for those of you who are wondering how we got into Sam's without a membership, here's the secret: We use a friend's expired card. Don't judge. Flash it at the door, walk around and get the samples, look at the goods, read the magazines, let Ben watch the TVs, buy a cheap lunch, and escape without the guilt that usually accompanies shopping at warehouse stores because you never leave without spending less than $100. The dowsides are that we get strange looks for walking around with nothing in our cart and that we can't score any of the great deals. Today I wanted to be less conspicuous so I threw a mega-sized bag of candy in the back and when Ben's eyes lit up, had to break his heart and tell him we weren't actually buying it. It had to go back on the shelf before we went to the food court. Thankfully he was easily pacified by some samples of Life Water and caramel apple dip.

What was your best Halloween costume ever? What will your kids be this year? My little sister and her husband are classic when it comes to outfits. Last year they dressed as a polygamist and his wives (had to recruit a friend to help), complete with poligafrump* hair and frocks. This year they've talked of being Steve Jobs and an Ipad. Love it.

*I can't take any credit for the amazing word "poligafrump." Have to give credit to TAMN from SSB for that one.