Today I opened our mailbox to find a hand-addressed envelope to Mr. and Mrs. Haws from Ben's school. He's now into his fourth month of kindergarten and part of me hoped that the letter was to inform us that (as we suspected) he's uncommonly brilliant and they want our permission to enroll him in the gifted program. Deep down I knew that it was more likely about a much less pleasant topic. I gingerly opened the letter, half expecting it to start smoking and a voice to chide me loudly about Ben being late to school. The majority of the time he rides the bus (with which I have a love/hate relationship), and I didn't realize tardiness was a problem until we got a little note in his backpack kindly reminding us about when the tardy bell rings each day. This one was a little more direct, yet still using sugary sweet teacher voice to emphasize my shoddy parenting which will undoubtedly lead to Ben's failure in academia/quick descent into juvenile delinquency and thereby guilt me into reform."You know that at Alton Darby we feel that good attendance and arrival at school on time is very important. It is so important that I take the time to review absence and tardy reports to see if any student has high incidents in either category. We know that a student' success is related to their attendance at school. It is difficult to keep up when a child is not present for instruction. I notice that Ben has been tardy 5 times since the start of school. If there is anything we can do to assist you in getting your child to school on time, please let me know. Punctuality is important in gettng prepared for the school day but is also an important life skill in the workplace. Thank you for your help in this important matter." (Signed by the principal herself. Yikes!)
Perhaps the next step is public shaming where Ben will have to wear a scarlet "T" and I will have to spend an afternoon in the stocks on the front lawn of the school where all "good" parents (read: The ones who drive their kids the .5 miles from home and sit in the carpool lane wasting gas for 30 minutes) can point their fingers or shake their heads at me for contributing to the decay of society.
Confession: One of the five times I consciously chose for him be late because I was having a meaningful conversation with a friend. I am all about school and I hope that what I am about to say doesn't shock and offend all you friends and relatives in the education business. Call me callous, but it's just kindergarten, for heaven's sake! Truth be told, I've actually felt like it's been a bit of a letdown compared to his stellar experience at the school district's preschool last year. I feel like there they did lots of hands-on creative activities and in kindergarten he comes home with reams of worksheets where he practices letters.
Recently I had an interesting conversation with a friend who is a former teacher and she informed me that there are two types of parents: Those who care alot about seeing proof of work being done at school (worksheets, coloring pages, etc.) and those who don't. Apparently I'm in the latter category. I trust that Ben's teachers are using the time wisely and would actually like to pretend that they're doing something more fun and thought-provoking than copying letters. Lest I sound ungrateful, I am very glad to have a public school system and am happy to outsource much of my child's education to the professionals since it's not my competitive advantage.
What I'm taking much too long to say is that I will get my act together and have him at school on time. But I am also sad that schools are now so tied to standards testing that kindergarten is the new first grade and that we're forgoing more age-appropriate activities involving experiences and exploration in lieu of redundant activities and rote memorization.
A good friend who is also a child development expert wrote about this topic recently and I'd love to hear your thoughts. Have you noticed a difference between preschool and kindergarten curriculums? What are your thoughts on your child's educational experience thus far?
7 comments:
I just had to comment because I am likewise a terrible mother who nearly got sent to court over this. Felicity was usually in the building or steps away from it when the bell rang, but on those occasions was marked tardy 11 times her first grade year, so I was supposed to go to court to see a judge and pay a hefty fine. And yes, in TX they send parents to Truancy Court after X tardies. X, of course, being a variable number because the school gets to decide when it is a true problem, even though they love to site "state law" as the concern. Even within our town I have seen major discrepancies of the attendance issue. Which was really quite shocking to me because in the 3 states I've taught school in, nobody even noticed when elementarians were late to school!
I can guess that the heart of the issue is about funding: in many states, the school receives funds only for children who are present for the entire day, so the school is extremely motivated to get the child there on time. Our school even has an "attendance secretary" whose sole responsibility is to keep attendance and call/harass parents who have not reported why their child is absent. I find it interesting that for well over 90% perfect timeliness, I can be reprimanded and fined by a judge! Yes, your honor, I realize we have an A in attendance, but I will still pay $200 for my noncompliance...
But I agree with your friend- to keep up with competition, standards are raised beyond developmentally appropriate levels. Do we really need this kind of stress and pressure in Kindergarten?
I have not been impressed with Sienna's kindergarten, but they're not even doing first-grade level worksheets. I wonder if it will come to homeschooling for me in the future. Thanks for sharing your howler. Great post.
Isabelle just changed schools and I thought it was funny when the teacher asked her "what is your favorite subject?" Isabelle responded with "recess". "I'm sorry" said the teacher. "we don't have time in Kindergarten for recess" I about died. Seriously! Let them go play and make friends. How is recess not just as important as everything else. I would not worry about being a few minutes late. Too funny!
I've heard the same thing JoEllen said. It's about funding. Spencer has been absent 4 1/2 days this year. I found myself not wanting to take him out of school because I was worried the teacher would get mad at me. Once I realized what I was worried about, I just took him out. So silly of me to worry about what his teacher thinks! It kind of makes me mad they try to make us feel guilty.
Regarding your question, I think the teacher makes a class. I've had good and medium at preschool and kindergarten, and we've been through schools. It's all about the teacher.
Six. We've been through six schools.
As a teacher I have to defend just for a minute. Tardiness is a huge disruption. Sometimes it can't be helped but it's important to the flow of the class to try and start everyone on the same page, at the same time. I don't think there is anything wrong with teaching kids young, when it's not as vital, to be on time to school or any function for that matter. I'm just saying that being on time is a matter of etiquette. And yes, it is all about the teachers. It's a lot of work, so be kind when you can. Okay, I'm off my soapbox. As you were.
Will I be tried as an accessory to the crime?
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